Mea Culpa

2006-08-21T09:00:00.000+01:00

I Am Never Drinking Again!!!

As i sit here and blog this I am thankfully hangover free. This is in complete contrast to how I woke up yesterday morning.

I dont really remember a lot about saturday night but I was told that I am a great drunk. I don't get angry or cry, I just giggle at everything.

I swore to myself I would learn to wear my 'I know when I've had enough hat' with pride after the incident while on holiday but something clearly went wrong with that plan the other night. Still, when I woke up I had my phone and purse and I was assured that I hadn't thrown up anywhere which is always of the good so at least that's something. Although I was informed that at one point I did declare my love for Pat Sharp. This is interesting as I did not know I had a current love for Pat Sharp and suspect I was refearing to the good old Fun House days but looking at that pic of him I am reminded of the big crush I had.

That was sauturday night but on saturday morning I went to see the much anticipated Snakes on a Plane. 'That's great news. Snakes on crack!' How can you not love a film with that line in it? Samuel L is by far the coolest man on earth.

So that was my weekend. After finally trusting myself enough to manage the bus ride home I stayed in bed the rest of yesterday sleeping, feeling very very ill and watching some new DVDs purchased that morning off the very handsome man in WH Smiths (who assures me he did not mind all my drunken texts to him one bit the night before. I guess guys don't really mind being repeatedly called sexy and other things that a not very sober mind thinks it's a good idea to text). Hey hum!

2006-08-12T10:43:00.000+01:00

Your Weirdest Dreams Please!

Ok, its not the most original question in the world and for that I apologise but untill last night I thought the weirdest dream I had was the one with the giant red octopus in the kitchen, no wait, the weirdest was when that guy from Casualty fancied me but he was a fish. Not a man in a fish costume, and actual real goldfish.
Last night I dreamt that a pig ate two pairs of my knickers. I don't think I shall find what that means in any book.

2006-08-06T11:52:00.000+01:00

Round Up!

It is over a week since I posted. I should and do feel ashamed of myself. So I will just round up what I've been up to.
My friday night out was good though we went to Derby and not Notts. The night got even better after I met a guy in the crapply named club, Blue Bamboo.
I then spent the next few nights just chilling out. I gave the internet a break and decided to do some of the things I liked to do before I spent all my time on my 'puter. I watched DVDs in bed and drank wine wile listening to my blues cds.
I was in Derby again friday to saturday and on saturday morning I was sitting on a bench enjoying my freshly made sunshine detox fruit drink when a middle-aged guy sat next to me and kept looking at me in what I perceived as a -I am psychotic and planning the best way to kill you- look. I moved away from him slowly.
I am still looking for work and am still learning that bloody highway code.*
I also got caught off guard on saturday and ended up signing up for dental issurence. How I let that happen i dont know. I'm cancelling first thing tomorrow.

*I must remember, it means bumpy road. It is not a double hump back bridge.

2006-07-28T09:33:00.000+01:00

What To Do!?!

(I couldn't stay too enigmatic for too long. There's a pic of me on my jollies. I am happy there by the way).

So, I have decided to move out as you all know and I really like the idea of moving to the coast. I am really going to do this as I have set my heart on it but now I've made the decision I am sort of stuck.

It is very exciting to think I am finally going to do the thing I want but not having done it before I don't know how to go about it. I lived in Sheffield with an old boyfriend for a year a while back but he found the house and sorted everything, all I had to do was move in.

So, I seek advice from all those who have far more superia knowledge to me on such matters. Do I move away and then find a job or do I get a job first? What would be a decent enough ammount to have saved up before I take the plunge? It is incredibly sad that a 26 year old does not already know these things.

It is a great thought that by my 27th birthday I could be little miss independent, but maybe 3 months is being a bit too optimistic. Anyway, I am going on and on and starting to bore even myself so I shall shut up.

I am off out for a meal and some drinks in Notts tonight. I havn't been for a night out there since my Rock City days which where a few years ago now so I hope it goes alright.

Have a good weekend fellow bloggers. Be sure to report back tomorrow night. This is me we are talking about here, I'm bound to do something stupid or embaressing to fill you all in about.

Til next time me dears!!

2006-07-26T19:39:00.000+01:00

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom".*

I tried to think positive and be productive today.

I have almost finnished going through the highway code and I have already got through the theory test book. Once I have had a go at the hazzard perception to see how hot (or not) i am at that, I will book my theory test in. Tomorrow I am going to book a driving lesson to discuss the best way for me to pass my test. (You never know Penny, I might be driving us to Newquay yet)!

I havn't had one nap today but instead have been a couple of walks and been to have my hair trimmed. It's too much activity for me for one day, especially in this heat. Oh and I have also been on the delightful, the fun, the happy, the inspirational jobcentre plus website looking for work.

There isn't any.

And believe me when I say I am not being picky here. No one is in the market for a motivated, hard working, dynamic Lynsey. (Actually I think that dynamic is going a bit far but hey).

So I am making the moves and I'm preparing and I'm being active but it's not quite coming together yet.

Where is my White Knight to take me away from it all?** Maybe I will meet him friday night.

*Anais Nin
**I have suffered from White Knight syndrome since I was a kid. You would think I would have grown out of it by now.

2006-07-23T19:43:00.000+01:00

Back to Reality with a Big Bad Bump!

Hello folks. Yes, I'm back from my weeks holiday in Cornwall. I had the best time (pics to follow).

It was a couple of posts back that I was complaining about my lack of job and confidence and living with parents and such, but that one week away has helped but a lot of bloody things in to perspective for me. Having a week away somewhere I have always wanted to go and to be treated like an adult was fantastic. I felt so calm and confident and at home there, so when I arrived home and it was back to being treated like a sixteen rather than a twenty-six year old again I actually cried.

I had many an epiphany while there and one of them was that the only way it's all going to change is if I change it.

So it beggins.

The time has come to take action and get myself out of Dodge. Starting with my driving. Step one is to get my test passed and my car on the road. I'm just glad to finnally be in the right frame of mind with the determination needed to get it done.

Wish me luck!

2006-07-14T19:14:00.000+01:00

See You Later's.

Hey all, I'm just letting you know that I will be away for a week.

I'll be back a week tomorrow.

I'll see y'all then! (Not actually see but you know what I mean)

Take care.

2006-07-11T20:36:00.000+01:00

Alcohol + Ebay = Badness!

Some people know that one of the last things I should do when I have had a couple of drinks is go and see what fabulous things that I really want and really need people are selling on ebay. This is generally because after a couple of drinks I convince myself that I really want and really need every item that I look at.
There have been mornings when I have woken with a sense of dread having known that I have bid on something but not remembering exactly what. Sometimes I would breath a sigh of relief after checking to find I had only bought a cheap 8x10 photo of Burt Reynalds* or a pumpkin necklace.** Another time I awoke to find I had bid £55 for a copy of Two-Lane Blacktop which I wasn't entirely sure would play on my player. Fortunately I was out bid on that one.
This morning was almost one of those mornings. Last night I was checking for some quite normal items (new clothes for my holiday and other sensible things) when I somehow nearly ended up bidding on the above pictured item. Someone please tell me what possible need I could have for a 7 piece Miami Dolphins cheeleaders outfit. It is a bagain at $32.85 I thought. I am not even entirely sure how I found the item in the first place but thank goodness it was only a couple of drinks I had had, or I might now be awaiting its arrival.
Still, I am 100% sober right now and you do have to admitt, it does look very pretty.

* It was from Smokey and the Bandit. I love that film.

** I like pumpkins. And necklaces. It was a perfect combo.

2006-07-06T16:00:00.000+01:00

Chili Time.

I went to see the Chili's yesterday and they were fan-bloody-tastic.
It was the first gig I had been to in ages and it really reminded me how much I love going.
Everything was fine once we got in and found a good seat (and my brother got the pints in).

All I can say is thank goodness the day was overcast. Standing for three hours in the que in red hot sunshine would have been like hell. What those three hours did do however is raise the question 'was I as bad as that when I was a kid?' Of cause if we are going to be stood queing for hours, it is sods law we are going to get the loadest group of kids stood right next to us. It exhausted me just listening to them.* Two girls were screaming 'Ray' at the top of their lungs** right in my ear. I didn't want to que for that length of time only to have a perforated ear drum by the time I got inside. I was poised and ready to scream 'Ray' back at them and see how they liked it but then the now infamous Ray spotted them and they finnally shut up. For a bit.

Now, did you know that standing still for eons really makes your feet hurt? Once inside we could have got right to the front but as my brother pointed out 'there comes a time when you have to think of yourself and pick comfort first.' So we went and got seats. I felt boring and old for doing so (but also full of relief).

The support. Chik Chik Chik sounded shit (shit shit). Goldfrapp had to cancel and instead we got Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals. Wow. I am getting some of their stuff this weekend. I was so very impressed.

And so, the Chili's came on and rocked their asses off. I danced like no one was watching and they made all that earlier 'Ray' business seem worth it in the end.

I have to see them again.

*Another sign I am getting older?
** I think Ray was hiding, I know I would have been if I had known them.

2006-07-01T19:27:00.000+01:00

It's Too Darn Hot!

I am not a summer girl.

I like cold dark nights, the smell of bonfires in the air, the colours that leaves turn in the autumn and going for walks in the snow.

I keep looking at this picture in the hopes of fooling my mind into thinking it's winter so I shall cool down a bit. But, it isn't working.

I can tell I am turning into a grump because of it which is not of the good. (And don't get me started on the spid-spods).

In other news Mr M, the old man from up the street who visits our house at least three times a day and likes to sit eating himself (truley! He itches and scratches his skin and then eats it!) is back off his hols and sat downstairs. His arrival did not please my mum too much as she was but moments away from storming off out the house after having a row with my dad. Dad got in there first however and shot off on his motorbike.

Oh yes, it's all fun and games in the Stuart household today folks:) But fear not, despite the grump in me I am still trying to smile.

Oh, dad is back.

Let round two commence.

2006-06-29T19:48:00.000+01:00

Who's Porn is this?

While I was out and about on monday a woman told me this story:

The morning after hiring a skip she found what at first appeared to be two full bags of porn.

She was livid about this and after assertaining that said porn did not come from any of the men in her household she was even more so. How dare a perfect stranger use her skip to dispose of said filth? (her words).

Embaressed that any one of her neighbours could catch a climpse of it she decided to move it inside.

This is when she discovered that the two full bags of porn was now eight full bags (that's ten years worth apparently). So she moved them all inside till the skip was due to be picked up, at which point a photograph of a rather raunchey looking women fell out of one of the bags.

Now, the woman in question recognised the woman in the photograph and not disguising her anger marched indoors to confront her hubby.

'I know who it was.' Said she. 'It's that mate of yours from up the street. The idiot left a picture of his girlfriend inside one of the mags. Take this and tell him that if he wants to get rid of his crap in future, to hire his own skip.'

Her hubby looked up from the photo and informed her, 'honey, that's a picture of Holly Valance.'

Her reply 'Ooops. Well, I new I recognised her from somewhere.

The hunt for the porn dumper continues.

2006-06-28T18:09:00.000+01:00

HMPH!

The thing about not having a job is that one day kind of blurs in to the next.
Today wasn't too bad as I looked after my niece this morning and went out for lunch this afternoon. Usually however, I will plan things to do so that I will feel like I have achieved something with my day, only to get on my bed and nod the day away. Then I am left trying to convince myself that a good days sleep is in fact a suitably productive thing to have done.

After close anaylsis I have come to this conclusion: I am not a lazy person, far from it. But just lately I have really been craving my privacy which seems to be very much non existent at present. I know that that it was you get when you are 26 and still living with parents . Don't get me wrong of cause I love them and all it's just 24/7 in the same place is slowly starting to get to me. And not in a good way. So, by hiding in my room and sleeping half the day away I am in essence pretending the problem doesn't exist and sleeping so I don't have to think about it.
See when I look at it like that I don't feel as guilty for having round the clock snoozes.

I am seriously thinking it's time to fly the nest.

2006-06-27T00:19:00.000+01:00

Bit of an Odd un Today!

I went to a photographers today for a bit of work experience. It was good and I had fun though I'm sure they would have prefered it had I not been showing a blank expression all day.

Whenever he spoke to me I did the 'I havn't got a clue what you're saying but am pretending I get every word' face. That always happens to me when I am quizzed about even the most basic of things. My mind draws a complete blank. The man asked me what camera I use. My camera that I use almost everyday and love and cherish, and I completely forgot what it was. He must have thought I was a right drip.

Still, I got to play with some fancy stuff and take pictures of someone with scary special effects make-up on.

Also, because of doing this today I had to miss my confidence class this afternoon, (I am not bad I just need it topping up a bit), but when I remember that what I learnt the other week was that in order to get rid of nerves before public speaking it helps to chant like a gregorian monk, I'm not really too bothered that I missed it. I'm not quite sure how this chanting was meant to help but If I new you still wouldn't catch me doing it.

2006-06-25T20:19:00.000+01:00

Hello folks.

I have heard many a good thing about this blogging business so thought I would give it a go. That may turn out to be a bad decision on my part but hey hoo.

The thing about me is I tend to do and say the stupiest things on a very regular basis which might make at least a few people smile and feel a little better about their own lives after realising that 'Hey, at least I'm not as stupid as her'.

So I shall try my darndest to make this work and hope that you'll come back once in a while to have a looksee.

Now I am off to think of something better to say.

I may be a while